I’m breaking up with the J word.
Jealousy, in all its forms and abbreviations, somehow has crept into and planted itself into my almost daily vocabulary. I mean really, who can resist a good, “I’m so peanut butter and jelly of XYZ” comment? Okay, maybe that’s just the valley girl in me.
But jealousy isn’t a nice word. Or at least, it doesn’t have a great connotation. It comes from a place of insecurity, of comparing one’s life to another’s.
Take it from a bunch of 14 and 15-year-old Peruvians. In one of the first youth group gatherings I held in 2014, I split the students into teams based on gender and asked them to identify ideal qualities in a significant other. Nearly every group, regardless of male or female, said that they didn’t want a jealous partner. But, jealousy doesn’t just affect our romantic relationships.
How many of us have looked at a friend’s photo from an epic trip to the Caribbean and commented “I’m totes jelly of your vacay.” Or we’ve seen someone’s status about an accomplishment and written, “So jealous!” I could go on with examples; foods people have eaten, gifts from significant others, etc.
But do we truly mean we’re jealous?
As I’ve been eliminating the J word from my vocabulary, I’ve noticed that when I am tempted to use it, I’m actually not green with envy at all. Often I can replace the phrase with something affirmative that I truly mean to express.
“I’m so excited for you!”
“Have fun!”
“It looks like you had an amazing trip!”
“That is cool, now adding this to my own bucket list.”
Just removing the one word from my vocabulary has shifted my perspective. I’ve found that, because I talk about things differently, I am prouder of, happier for and more excited for my friends (and even strangers!) and all that they are doing in their lives.
So, good riddance Jealousy.
What other words should we eliminate from our vocabulary?
Brittany McGee 