Brittany McGee

Of course the week that I finally wash my bed sheets, legitimately make my bed for the first time and declare my room 90% complete, I feel deep pangs of homesickness.

It’s not the first time I’ve felt homesick, and it probably won’t be the last. As of the 24^th, I have been in site for 7 months and in 10 days, I’ll have been in Peru for 10 months. But, the time spent here doesn’t make each time I’m homesick any easier.

Each time I’m homesick is different. Sometimes, I miss the comforts of my life at home—freedom to come and go as I please, grocery stores, driving, etc. Other times, I feel like I’m missing out on creating memories with friends and family since I can’t be present for activities, adventures and outings. On occasion, I’ll miss specific foods—though generally speaking I don’t crave things. Randomly, it’ll be that an annual event is coming up and I wish I could go (ACL, SXSW, etc.). More often than not, it’ll be that I miss the day-to-day connecting with close friends and family.

This round of homesickness could have been caused by a number of things—

• My parents’ recent visit
• Receiving a “save the date” for one of my best friend’s weddings in August
• Anticipating going to that wedding and another (yes, I’m planning a trip to Texas!)
• Remembering that this time last year, I completed my last day of work and was jetting off to Las Vegas for a memorable weekend
• Spending a lot of time recently reflecting on who I am, how I want to better myself, and wondering if those things will stick when I finally go back to the States.
• Having a slow work week since the schools are closed due to flooding and mud

What exactly caused it really isn’t as important as how I handle it.

Early on in my service, I used to feel like my life was on pause, while everyone else’s back home was moving full speed. My friends are having babies, getting engaged and married, being accepted to grad school programs, advancing their careers and starting their own companies. But, a wise friend reminded me that, while I’m on another continent, my life is definitely not on pause.

I’m learning, flourishing and changing by the minute. I’m challenging myself to live in another culture, and actually becoming accustomed to it. I’m advancing in Spanish. I’m setting goals for my future (like deciding to take the GMAT—MBA programs, here I come!). Each day that passes here, I find ways to better myself. I literally cannot think of another period in my life where I’ve experienced such personal growth in this short of time.

I also can’t forget everything that I have going on here. I have a fairly productive, and rather happy life in Olmos. I have fantastic socios at the high school, and we have cool projects planned for the year—including a service learning project for some of the classes and an English workshop for the teachers. I have good relationships with some of the locals (old and new host family, Cesar, etc.). And I have great friendships with other volunteers.

While I am thriving here, that does not compensate for missing friends, family, activities and outings back in the States. So, how do I deal with homesickness?

• Sending message and planning Skype dates, etc. with friends
• Reading notes & letters
• Eating foods that I like (AKA comfort foods)
• Doing activities that I would have done back home (running & working out)
• Listening to my favorite music
• Watching my favorite TV shows or movies
• Allowing myself time to really feel my emotions (sometimes, I just need a good cry)
• Meditating

None of those absolutely make the homesickness go away, and usually it only gets better with time. But, in a lot of ways, those activities help me feel grounded and bring me back to center. They remind me that while I am growing and changing, I haven’t completely lost myself. And in a lot of ways, that’s what homesickness is, isn’t it? The feeling that you’re losing yourself, your connection to the comfortable, the known. It’s the uneasiness of challenging yourself without your typical support systems.

I wouldn’t be growing if I weren’t feeling homesick from time to time, would I?